Finding DIRI.

Hello blog. It's been a while.

It's been two and half years to be exact and I've got so much to write about but for now, I just want to pick up where I left.

In case you haven't caught up, the last few entries of this blog have been about my exploration of the Enochian magical system. After a series of missteps and experimentation, I eventually got to that part where I finally get to open the gates of the Watchtowers, visit fantastic and creepy worlds, have tea-time with weird inter-dimensional beings and nudge them for life-changing information.

You know about those rumours going around in occult circles about Enochian magic being so powerful that it could bring about apocalyptic change? I don't know if there's substantial evidence for that but I have come to believe that it did change my life quite a lot.

Like, big fucking time.

I admit I was beginning to get bored with the visions and cryptic messages. Enochian magic is quite unlike any magical system I have practiced before where the results are more tangible, and sometimes almost immediate. But I guess you won't appreciate the value of practicing hours-long magic rituals just to receive messages from the "other side" until you discover that there's virtually a ticking time-bomb inside your own body.

I got hit so hard that I have had episodes of anxiety and depression like the sort of thing I couldn't have imagined I would get. But then I guess that's just the way humanity's programming works. We live our lives happily blind with illusions of immortality until we see the face of death on that radiographic film. Now the thought of it has been following me incessantly, like mosquitoes buzzing above your head on summer evenings.

Yoga and meditation could have helped, sure, but even doing those are impossible when you aren't even able to forward-fold or are experiencing random excruciating pain every now and then. Eventually I had to quit my daily asana practice - among a lot of other things that I care for. So the past several months felt like a wild scramble. Like I was thrown off from a plane and into a strange new place and I'd been trying to find my way back.

Truncated pyramid of DIRI, servient angel of the Watchtower of Air.

All that scrambling, however, eventually got tiresome. So I told myself to just fuck it all and explore this new territory. I'm a traveler after all.

So here I am, thankfully feeling a lot better than I was, living day by day with the help of medicine and holding on to what little support I have. It feels like clinging on rickety flotsam rafts on a stormy sea, but it's a lot better than drowning,

Now I've got unfinished business to attend to and worlds to explore. So I think it's about time to roll up my sleeves, grab that wand, and open the gates once more.

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Hail, Hermes!

I don't usually talk to gods, much less to Greek gods. I feel they're far too distant and alien to me.

But the more I learned about Hermes, the more I feel a sense of familiar comfort with him. Basically, he governs most of those things that I do and love: travel, languages, magic, athletics, the Internet...even my job as a software developer. I've also always had some sort of affinity with child-like trickster gods being a goofball myself.

Last year, Aldrin and Kaye invited me over to celebrate Hermaia Eriounia, the feast day of Hermes as the luck bringer. Being a sucker for luck and pagan rites, I joined, of course, bringing with me four votive offerings I made in the form of animals sacred to Hermes. Each offering is for each quarter of the coming year, to ask for blessings and such.

Aldrin's Graeco-Roman rituals have always been beautiful and eloquent, with the right balance of reverence and mirth. Hermes just loves sweet things, so the feast consisted of food with alarmingly high glycemic index, which I immensely partook of nonetheless.

There is nothing like holding a feast in the middle of a lush, grassy farm.

My votive offering of a bee in a tetradrachm of Ephesos, and four foreign coins from my travels.

Even as a magician, I'm not the type who would readily ascribe seemingly synchronistic incidents to divine and supernatural forces. But early this year, a series of events led me to attend a Forex seminar - one of the last things I would find myself going to. Later, I realized: trading foreign currencies - how very Hermes is that?

Surprisingly I found the talk to be quite interesting and it has led me to discover stuff like stocks and investments. I've always thought I was pretty good at handling my money until then. A few weeks later on, I was able to transform my savings account into a diverse portfolio of stocks, mutual funds and trust funds. Finances have always bored me, but I'm glad I found the heart to be smarter with my money now. I wish I've learned this before.

The second quarter just began with the very Hermes April Fool's day. I know it's wrong to expect gifts, but I couldn't help wondering what blessing he has for me this time.

Khaire Herme!

Turtle

Dog

Cock

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On Praying to the Ancestors

My ancestor shrine, inspired by the colorful egun'gun tradition of West Africa and Lucumi religion. It's also my first work on clay. The nine masks represent the collective spirits of my ancestors. Nine is the number of the orisha Oya, guardian of the dead. The pattern around the frame represents the river of life force (ashé) to which our spirits are bound to return.

Having come from the Llewellyn-Wicca variant of neopaganism, the idea of ancestor worship was unfamiliar to me when I first got introduced to it via a group of friends practicing African traditional religions.

Nevertheless I have made it a part of my practice as well. I felt that there is something important to it other than the obvious purpose of giving respect to the elders, which is very much a part of Asian culture, and other than redeeming myself from the guilt arising from worshipping the pagan gods of the Western world.

Over the years I have developed a peculiar posture whenever I say a prayer to the ancestors. I pray to the honored dead kneeling on the earth or on the floor while touching my head to the ground. I think this comes naturally being that the underground is the archetypal realm of the dead - just as people tend to look to the sky when praying to the gods.

What I notice about it is that it brings me to the safe and comfort of the fetal position. I have come to think of it as a little performance art of me returning to the womb and as a gesture of acknowledgement of my roots.

In this position I see nowhere but down and inward, and I am somehow compelled to give a deep, hard, inner look at myself:

This is me. This what I and my ancestors of blood and spirit have made. To honor my ancestors is to honor myself.

It's so easy to get lost in the clouds in this so-called spiritual journey. I pray to the ancestors to remind me of what I was and to become realistically aware of what I have become. While it is my love and faith to the gods that lift my hopes and ideals to heavenly heights, it is the honored spirits of the dead, powers beneath the earth that they are, that keep my feet on the ground.

Basbasan Nawa!

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Holy Death

I have given up on the idea of karma, heaven, and a glorified afterlife a long time ago. I don't think I have any need of those in order to live righteously. I would rather that I do good things in this world simply for the sake of being human or for the pleasure of being kind, and not for the sake of some cosmic reward.

Religion doesn't have to sugarcoat death for me anymore. I've already seen her behind that make-up - and she doesn't  look very pretty. I have seen her for what she is and I embrace her existence. And it is precisely my pagan understanding of death that inspires me to live this life to the full and as virtuously as possible.

I think life has felt more meaningful once I got free from those wishful thoughts of immortality. Heaven can take its dangling carrot elsewhere. There already is a lush orchard around me.

Santa Muerte (ink & color pencils on Moleskine). Death as the mother of God. (Mater Theou). Death happens before life begins. The 3 Hebrew letters spell AIN ("nothingness"), which is the beginning of existence according to the Qabala. Read in another direction, it spells INA ("mother", in Tagalog). 

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Iroko: The Serpent Oshumare Climbs the Tree of Orishas

This is what happens when you put your hands into too many mystical systems.

This is simply my attempt to place the orishas into the cosmic file cabinet of the Kabbalistic tree of life. I'm sure there are kabbalists and orisha worshippers who'd get sick of the idea, but this my personal belief. I study and practice both traditions on their own but sometimes I find it interesting to mix things up a bit, like making fusion food.

Olodumare is Kether, which is depicted here as the sun that gives life to the tree. His sphere is separate from the rest to illustrate that he can only be felt but not known. The 24 sun drops is an allusion to the pre-genesis story of the Philippine folk magic tradition ("lihim na karunungan"). It is implied here that Olorun, "owner of the heavens", is the sky itself.

Orunmila, who is "Igbakeji Olodumare" (second in command to Olodumare) occupies the second sphere. As the lord of wisdom it is only apt that he is "Chokmah", meaning understanding. In Hermeticism, the sphere of Chokmah corresponds the domain of the fixed stars. In Yoruba, the "Orun" in orunmila means "heaven".

Oya, "Ayaba Nikua", the queen of death, occupies the sphere of Binah, which is attributed to Saturn, the planet whose color is black, and whose domain is death and destruction.

For me, these three represent the cosmic triad of creation, maintenance and destruction.

Olofin, the lowest manifestation of Olodumare, represents the sphere of Daath. The abyss through which one shall pass to reach the domain of Olorun and Olodumare.

Shango, god king and lord of thunder, occupies the sphere of Chesed, ruled by the planet Jupiter, whose name comes from the Roman god king and lord of thunder.

Oggun, warrior god and lord of iron, occupies the sphere of Geburah, ruled by the planet Mars, whose name comes from the Roman god of war and iron.

Shango for me represents the force of inspiration, which comes to the psyche like a bolt of lightning. Whereas Oggun represents putting inspiration into action. Shango's fire gives shape to the iron of Oggun.

Obatala, the father of orishas, owner of the white cloth, occupies Tipareth, the center of the tree. Like the Sun to which this sphere corresponds, his radiance shines upon all as "Orishanla", lord of all orishas. Tipareth is also to the sphere of Yeheshuah (YHShVH) who, like Obatala, is a dying and rising god.

The beauteous Oshun is Netzach, attributed to Venus, whose domain is beauty and love. Her son, the trickster child Elegua, messenger of the gods, is Hod, attributed to Mercury, whose domain is wit and communication. Beauty and trickery for me are representative of the polarities of order and chaos.

Yemaya, the mother of orishas, sits below Obatala, in the sphere of Yesod. She is the foundation of the tree, where all the other branches sprung forth.

Buried in the earth itself is the root of the tree: Babalu-Aye, father and lord of the earth, occupying the sphere of Malkuth.

Oshumare, the rainbow serpent, is the kundalini serpent uncoiling through the rainbow of colors of the seven chakras as one journeys through the states of consciousness that each sphere represents - from the earthly and humble realm of Babalu-Aye in Malkuth to the ultimate and divine realm of Olodumare in Kether.

Basbasan Nawa!

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10 Things About Wicca That Wiccans Should Know

1. Gerald Gardner, known as the father of Wicca, never actually used the word "Wicca" nor "Wiccan". He referred to his religion as "witchcraft" or "the Old Religion", and its followers, "the Wica". Ironically it was from his adversary, Charles Cardell,  where the word "Wicca" actually came from.

G.B.Gardner and an unfortunate chap. 

2. "Wicca" is an Old English word simply meaning "witch". In the middle ages this word is pronounced as "witcha". Whether it also denotes the meaning of "wise" is still largely debatable in the field of etymology.

3. While a sabbat is a gathering of witches for the purpose of religious celebration of the seasons, an esbat is a gathering of witches for any other occasion. It does not necessarily have to fall on a full moon, nor does it even have to be religious at all.

"Wiccans" of the "Alexandrian" tradition - words in quotes were not yet 'invented' at the time of this photograph. Here a coven of witches dance around a magic circle lead by self-proclaimed "King of the Witches", Alex Sanders. 

4. Gardner was initiated into the New Forest coven - not the Black Forest coven. The Black Forest tradition would be established many years later by the American witch Silver Ravenwolf.

5. Only four of the sabbats are based on ancient Celtic festivals: Samhain, Imbolc, Beltane and Lughnasadh. The Celtic names given to the sabbats are a fairly new addition, in the older books they are simply called Halloween, Candlemas, May Eve, and Lammas. Yule and Ostara are based on Germanic celebrations.  Mabon and Litha didn't get their names until the 1970's. Gardner's coven originally celebrated only the four 'Celtic' feasts. Celebration of the solstices and equinoxes were added later thanks to the influence of the modern druidic movement.

American witches who made Wiccan history (clockwise from top left): Margot Adler, Aidan Kelly, Z Budapest, Selena Fox, Ed Fitch, Starhawk.

6. Hecate, a popular patron deity among Wiccans, while known as a triple-goddess, was never viewed by the ancient Greeks nor modern Hellenic reconstructionists as maiden-mother-and-crone. The same is true with the Celtic triple goddesses Brighid and the Morrighan. The concept of the maiden-mother-crone triplicity is a modern and Wiccan concept and was introduced to the world by the poet Robert Graves in his pseudo-anthropological book "The White Goddess".

7. The athame is used for casting a circle, calling the quarters, and drawing the pentagram on the air - but not for invoking the God and the Goddess. The wand, which is a symbol of the spirit and the connection with the higher world, is much better suited for this purpose.  Pointing a sharp weapon to someone isn't particularly a respectful gesture. (See photo of Gardner above.)

The magician - raising the wand and connecting with the divine source.

8. "All gods are one god, and all goddesses are one goddess" is the general theistic philosophy of Wicca, popularized by occultist and psychiatrist Dion Fortune. Some Wiccans believe that this is the widespread belief among all Pagan religions. But this is actually closer to the theistic belief of the Hindus (monistic), than that of classical Paganism (polytheistic). While this Jungian concept of gods remains popular today, many other pagans are polytheists (all gods are not one, but separate identities), pantheists (all is god), panentheists (all is in god), non-theists (no gods, just spirits), and even atheists (no gods at all).

A note from a reader:  "...The diamond theory, although usually taught in many covens, especially during Outer Court training, is not Wiccan theology. That's propagated by most authors. In actuality, Wicca (that is, the Traditional side aka "original" Wicca) is an orthopraxic system. In other words, practice is more important than belief...they are not taught how to interpret the Gods or even their experiences in the Mysteries; rather, they are told that experiencing those things and practicing in the same, effective manner as the rest of the coven, is enough. It doesn't matter whether they are agnostics, polytheists, monotheists or even atheists..." - Alorer

9. Whether you like it or not, Aleister Crowley - also known as the Great Beast, Frater Perdurabo, 666 - did play a huge part in the formation of ideas and rituals of what was to be known as Wicca.

Image from www.cafepress.com/sekhetmaat

10. Gardner spent much years of his life living in India, South-East Asia and Ghana, both to earn a living and to study the indigenous religions of these lands, some of which he may have adapted into Wicca. The concept of 'skyclad', for example, came from the digambara practice of the Jains of  India - 'digambara' literally meaning 'sky-clad'. It might be possible that he has studied the  beliefs as well of our local tribes, as he wrote in his historic book:

"Pygmies now live in the same way in Central Africa, Malaya, New Guinea, the Deccan, Ceylon and the Philippines. I have known many of them and they all use poisoned arrows, and are thought to possess magical powers" -- Witchcraft Today

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I have been around with our local Wiccan community for many years now, and at times I've been called to teach or lead a smaller group. I listed above some informational tidbits which I find that many among our local Wiccan-folk might not be aware of. While these may be dismissed as trivial I hope that it would encourage beginning Wiccans to learn more about the facts and history of their faith. Although I am no longer Wiccan it doesn't mean I no longer have to put my energy into learning about it. My path today has actually taken me even closer to its origins and beliefs.

Blessed Be!

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Remembering the Departed

I have to admit, I still am afraid of death despite all the wisdom teachings that tell me I shouldn't be. I think fear of death comes with the survival instinct implanted by Mother Nature herself and it would just be unnatural not to be afraid of it. While not having fear may mean transcending my lowly animalistic self and my attachments to the mundane world, being afraid on the other hand means I am still finding reasons to live in this world despite all its faults, and it also makes me focus on what's really important and "live my life to the full" as the cliché goes.

My fear of death must have its roots from the fear of the unknown. I always say that death does not mean an end but rather a transition from one form to another. But what form comes next after life? The wisest gurus in history and scientists of recent years have given us ideas some of which I have adapted to believe, but deep inside I know that in the end they are all but a product of human experience and do not tell us what really is beyond there.



Three nights before undas, a beautiful ritual in the style of the Babaylans was led by Pol to honor the dead (umalagad). Food, flowers and dance were offered to the ancestors and the recently parted under the watchful eyes of the diwatas.

I think the ritual actually does more benefit to us, the living, than to the departed. In remembering them, we recall that part of us that has gotten lost when they left this world.

Pol calls upon the spirits of the land.

Candles are lit in remembrance of the dead. Names, photos and belongings of the departed are placed on the altar. 

Dancing and drumming around the altar.

Ancestors of the babaylans were also honored during the ritual.

Papa Legba.

The feast is shared among the participants after the ritual.

Basbasan Nawa!

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The Lights of Diwali

Somehow I find myself always having an affinity with the goddesses of the arts and beauty. Yeye Oshun has been for me a symbol of gaiety and elegance. Brighid of the Gaels provides me with artistic inspiration and the energy to turn it into craft. Now I pray to Maha Lakshmi, the lotus goddess of wealth, for material providence and sustenance - because the reality nowadays is that art and beauty often costs money. I was also feeling a need to get acquainted with the vedic gods being that the Philippines is a part of Greater India.

The feast of Diwali is traditionally a time to make puja to Lakshmi. Being my first time to do puja I made a  research on the internet, and gods, the information was very overwhelming. Aside from the procedure and materials needed, it is also of course necessary to know what each act, gesture or material offering symbolizes to get a deeper significance out of it.

Thankfully Taj grocery in Makati sells a puja ritual kit for only 100 pesos, which is a great value considering it is packed with almost all the ingredients needed to do puja - different colored kum kum powders, incenses, camphor, mauli thread for decorations, janeau thread to be used as wicks for ghee lamps, a small bottle of anointing perfume, a small clay dish, a mantra booklet which is unfortunately written in devanagari, and lots and lots of different offerings.  

Even with all the preparation, I wasn't sure if I did everything 'right'. By the start of my puja prayer I just let go of my anxiety and let Maha Lakshmi know that I did all I can with utmost sincerity.

Drawing a swastika and lotus flowers on the kalasha, a symbol of Lakshmi

Offerings of kumkum-colored rice, seeds, nuts, grains, and a bottle of anointing oil.

Mixing aksatha (uncooked rice) with sindoor powder.

Lotus rangoli (mandala-shaped art) made from abeer, sindoor and gulal powder.

Aarti plate containing diyas (lamps). The flowers are more than just decoration, the coronets of baby's breath stems holds the lamps into place.

Making a panchamitra of milk, ghee, sugar, honey and yogurt (traditionally curd) to be used to bathe the Hindu statues.

The sacred mauli thread is worn during and after the puja.

The puja items are now prepared.

Burning camphor purifies the space.

The diyas are lit on the aarti plate.

Shri Maha Lakshmi sits on the rangoli wearing a garland. The rangoli sits on the purna-kalasha which is placed on kumkum-colored rice on a banana leaf. It is filled with water, coin, leaves and other items related to Lakshmi. Offerings are placed nearby.

A puja is also made to Ganapati.

दिवाली की शुभकामनाएं

Basbasan Nawa!

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Earth Dance Manila 2011

After last year's memorable Earth Dance, the event has been much awaited by many people in the Pagan community.

This year's Earth Dance though  is a lot less Pagan-ish. The location was in the posh Bonifacio Global City which was nice enough, but I found it quite difficult to find and to get to. There were a lot less people who were able to attend than before, and much of the non-Pagan crowd were seemingly of the "upper class" type. Frankly I was missing last year's larger venue, as well as the Pagan Pride day, the Incan shamans and priestesses, the giant bonfire, the prayer tent, the overnighter, the globally synchronized prayer, etcetera.

That is not to say this Earth Dance isn't cool though. Dancing under the sky, barefoot, and together with friends old and new is always tons of fun.

The party ended early but with a flare. Fire lanterns were lit bringing our wishes to the sky. Only as soon as the last of the fire lanterns reached the clouds, the first drops of the coming storm began to fall. 

Blessed be Gaia!

These kids know how to jam.

El flamenquero.

Ate Bet and Khaye lets it all out.

I love the bamboo bikes. Mm, I love the sound of that. "bamboo bikes".

Goofing off on a palm tree.

Fire dancers and fire lanterns. (and a nice pair of legs)

Up, up and away!

Basbasan Nawa!

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