Saturday, September 21, 2013

How I Survive as a Highly Sensitive Person in Chaotic Manila



I am a very introverted Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Note the caps. I'm not talking about merely being touchy or over-emotional, I'm talking about certain people who are actually biologically rigged to feel and react more strongly to sensory stimuli than the average population. A leisurely Googling brought me to discover about this fairly new physiological study, and it was very comforting to know that there's finally something to describe this "condition". I hope knowledge about HSP's would spread farther and wider so that family, friends, and bosses would understand that people like us aren't simply overacting.

Among the quirks of being an HSP is that crowds make us very uncomfortable. All that depression, anxiety, anger and various shit that many everyday people are carrying - easily gets into our skin. That's why it seemed like a joke of the universe that I had to be born in the world's most densely populated city and live among the world's most emotional people.

It is not all pain and suffering though. Being an HSP for me is more a boon than a curse. Creativity, curiosity, spirituality, and a rich inner life are just few of the perks of being an HSP. Art and music and all things beautiful excite me, therefore I search for and surround myself with them. Regardless of what the cynics say, there's still much beauty in this world, and yes, even in suffocatingly crowded Manila, if one knows where to look.


A quiet afternoon in General Luna street.

1. Portable Music Players. I've had them since the early 90's - from my no-name cassette player in high school to the 160gig iPod with noise-cancelling earphones shoved into my ears right now. I never leave the house without it and it's become virtually a part of my physical body. It's a miracle I haven't got any hearing problems yet since I often listen at maximum volumes. Whether I'm in a rush-hour commute or drowned in the noise of the corporate office, the music in my ears instantly transports me to another, more pleasant world.


Bakasana. Getting there.

2. Exercise. I consider exercise more as a way of life rather than merely a solution to fix something on the body. The benefits extend way beyond looking better physically, it also helps a lot to feeling better mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This year I have learned to leave the confines of the gym and took my exercise to the swimming pool, the running track, the yoga studio and the boxing ring and it has actually become more than a lifestyle, but a passion. Strength training improves my endurance, which serves as a layer of protection against strong, unpleasant physical stimuli. Yoga, though I'm hesitant to categorize it as "exercise", is specially quite valuable in helping me learn how to temporarily tune down my hypersenses, or at least my reaction to stimuli.


My meditation-friendly bedroom when I was living in Alabang.

3. Reprogramming the mind. Being hypersensitive means being easily annoyed, rattled, ashamed or depressed, and when I am in any of these states I would often come up with irrational thoughts that do more harm to myself and to other people. While I was reading a book on the train, there was a guy who kept popping his bubble gum throughout the half-hour commute, the sound was so annoying and I could still hear it even with my iPod on at maximum volume. I was getting so riled up that I began having evil thoughts like "accidentally" stepping on his foot on the way out. I'm training my mind to raise an alarm bell whenever thoughts like these come up, and try to counteract it with the voice of reason: "This guy isn't deliberately trying to annoy me", "If you had bubble gum right now you'd be popping it too". Changing how your mind reacts can be quite difficult - like potty-training a kitty. I find that it's a lot easier when I heave a deep breath and try put to on a smile however fake it is. Eventually the devils in my mind would be banished anyway and I end up genuinely smiling at myself.


barbara's cafe intramuros manila
Having coffee like an ilustrado at Barbara's Café.

4. Cafés. I avoid Starbucks as much as I could. Although there are a few exceptions, they tend to be so crowded and tend to have a loud-mouthed group of friends who would spoil your introspective Nescafé moments. Those quaint, lesser-known street-side cafés are more to my liking. I would rather go for a teh tarik and a kaya toast in Kopi Roti, or a banana-split in that old ice cream parlor in Escolta which exudes a pleasant, American-era vibe. An Illy cafe inside a bookstore branch is my favorite art spot. When reviewing for the French exams, I tend to hangout in the coffee shops near schools and find myself surrounded with young people solemnly reading their textbooks. On weekends, even popular cafés and tea joints in the business districts become cozy sanctuaries due to the absence of the working folk.


Serene and a bit creepy. San Agustin museum.

5. Museums. A silent place filled with art and history, it's an obvious choice for an HSP to run to when escaping from the city's madness. Ayala Museum updates their exhibits from time to time, and a walk inside the San Agustin museum is not to be missed. Unfortunately, museums in Manila are quite few and far between - just like nature parks, which HSPs sorely need. 


Crêpe Flambée au Grand Marnier, by Monsieur Gigi at the Salcedo Market.

6. Weekend Markets. Yes, there are crowds but they are not (usually) the unpleasant types. While I try to hold myself from buying every shiny trinket that I see, I wallow in the festive air and savor my excitement to explore these interesting curiosities around me. Fortunately we have a growing number of them, from the posh Salcedo market to the artsy and bohemian Escolta market.


Riding a calesa in Intramuros.

7. Explore, explore, explore. Manila has the biggest malls in the world because Manileños are such mall rats. But spending my weekends aimlessly strolling at malls just make my weekend feel so un-special. Besides I have already been spending the rest of the week in a crowded, soulless, concrete box. I would rather be walking (or running) on the streets, learning in a classroom, attending a workshop, watching a play, doing sports, trying out a new resto, having coffee in a quaint little corner, or just simply trying to discover new places and new things to do. Don't listen to what the SM commercials say - "We've got it all for you!" my ass. There is a huge world outside the malls waiting to be explored.


Learning about Manila from Carlos Celdran at La Monja Loca.

8. More people can be fun too. Not all crowds are bad. Living in a city with a population of more than a million offers lots of opportunities to meet interesting characters. Widening my tiny social circle is one thing I would no doubt find challenging but the prospect makes me excited as well. Though I'm not quite ready yet hitting up a conversation with a stranger, I'm opening myself up more and have promised myself not to try scrambling away whenever a stranger in the café, yoga studio or gym initiates a casual chit-chat. Besides, I'm in my 30's. I'm already too freaking old to by shy.

2 comments:

An Humble Messenger of the Law of One said...

I come bearing the Sun, the Tree & the Fruit.

You are a dearly blessed man and the world rejoices at your Being.

Please, it is my honor to present you with the Ra Material (if you are unaware).

Splendor, Rays & Calm

www.lawofone.info

An Humble Messenger of the Law of One said...

One more thing. I too am HSP. It is true that our nervous systems have stronger reactions to stimuli, and require less stimuli to be moved. We are very much as water. Because of the Fiery Intelligence we possess (our divine mind), the water in is is radiating in the living memory of what is True (and beyond the world of appearance, the physical world). Therefor we notice the slightest differences, for we see the Real & the Unreal, as if they existed in the same place at once. We are torn, it seems. And it is our absolute awareness, in capacity, that creates the highly tuned nervous system. In silence, we shine like a star, surrounded by darkness. Yet in noise, the horror of non-existence overwhelms us. The solution is simply to spend at least 1 minute per hour in Heaven, in what ACIM calls 'the holy instant." It is easy to return Home once the door has been opened. Afterall, angels are with you. Finally, I want to mention that in addition to having a finely tuned nervous system, something to note also is if you were to "catastrophize". That is, because of the sensitivity at the level of pure feeling, the mind, then has to do something with the energy/reaction/impression it has received. When neurotic, the mind has much difficulty dealing with this amount of energy. This is why it is so vital, literally, for us to keep 'in tune' through meditation etc. I am especially fond of hypnosis, having studied the genius Milton Erickson for about 8 years now.

I would like to continue speaking with you. I hope all is well with you. I feel resonance with you. Please enjoy the Ra Material -- it is out of this world, yet in this world.

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